Blake

Christie

Meeting by Blake

It was a dark and stormy night. The night was sultry, and all through the house there was... wait. This is how we met, not Billy Crystal and Danny DiVito in "Throw Mama From The Train"... Lets start over.

We actually met in a bar, quite accidentally to be honest. We may be one of the few and only long-term relationships that started in a bar. But, this may be getting ahead of where we need to start. A quick rewind.

Nickel Beer Night

Friends of mine had been going to a Sports Bar, "Friendly Confines", for a few years. They'd go and play electronic trivia, sitting, drinking, arguing between rounds, every week on Wednesday, during "Nickel Beer Night". I eventually started joining them and eventually became a regular. This is roughly when I became a walking IMDB.com, since smart-phones back then weren't smart enough to really do much of anything useful. When you needed to remember who was in what movie with whom, you needed to just memorize it. Anyway, my friends also started playing company softball, and anyone who knows me knows, I'd rather sit alone at an empty table in a crowded bar waiting for friends to return late at night, than go play sports. So that's just what I did. I'd eat buffalo wings and steak marsala, play trivia, drink my nickel beer, and chat-up the waitresses, who all knew my friends and I well by then. We'd always order and tip much more than the usual broke college kids, who came in and table-squat all night. After several months of this, my favorite waitress, Amber Grant, commented on me waiting alone and offered to introduce me to her friends, who regularly met outside on the patio. I trusted Amber, so I agreed to meet her friends, and they seemed just as cool as her, so that's where I went from then on.

The Patio

The patio folks were different from my usual friends. They were much more cheerful, broke, and excited to hang out, drink, and were really easy-going. Me with my steady job and income seemed like a hero. Having plenty of disposable income at the time, I was able to occasionally buy rounds of drinks, and pick up dinner for the random new friend for the night; that, coupled with my newfound interest in learning, using and reusing people's names, quickly escalated me to a fun place as this local new hero. Fun times. I met a lot of really neat people and got invited all over the place for everything (most of the time not having to pay for anything), just for being a neat guy myself. In this group I met Marissa Wheeler, who was dating this musician, Billy. Marissa is the type of girl you really don't want to mess with if you're not interested in getting stabbed. She's got a great sense of humor though, so the danger-line is far away for friends. Billy was in a Southern Rock band who regularly got gigs all around the city. Marissa and Billy invited me to come out to one of their shows one night, with the added incentive of them introducing me to their cool artist friend. How could I say no?

The Haven

I head to the bar "The Haven" on a Thursday night. I arrive before the show, and meet up with Marissa as the band is setting up. We order several beers. I ask about her friend, that I'm supposed to meet. Marissa says she's in her car, sleeping and would come in later. Cool cool. The bar is effectively empty; two men born during the civil war are "playing" pool; another man is losing a solo game of heads-up-7-up at the bar. It's 8:00 PM. This girl with a beer in her hand walks up to Marissa and starts talking; they know each other. Marissa introduces her, "Oh! This is a friend of mine. I invited her too." The three of us make conversation for a dozen minutes, and the band is finally ready. I'm pretty sure Billy's band lost the volume control knob for their instruments because it was a small bar (almost always was) and there's no way anyone was having trouble hearing them. We relocate a few feet from where we were at the bar to "the floor", and listen to the music. Honestly, we didn't need to move, we could have just as easily heard the band from outside, or from the 7-11 across the street, or from inside the Walgreens on the opposite block. We're watching the show, and this girl starts leaning in to talk to me, and due to the sheer volume of sound waves in the bar, a normal lean-in and voice won't cut it. She has to essentially yell into my ear for anything discernible to be heard. We go back and fourth yelling into each other's ear because it was actually pretty fun talking to her. As a bonus, she'd have to stand on her tippy-toes and press her cheek up against mine to get as close as possible for me to be able to hear. This type of thing had never happened to me before. This was awesome. We talk until the show wraps up. The show concludes after about two hours. Remarkably, we can still hear. We realize that, although the show has ended, Marissa's artist friend didn't wake up and come inside. We all go out to meet her. Marissa opens the back door of her car, and wakes this poor girl up from her deep slumber, pulls her out of the car and says "Blake, this is my friend. Say Hi." "Um hello", I say. With eyes half open, the friend says "hi" and almost as quickly, slumps over and crawls back into the car, for some more much needed rest, apparently. So that didn't go as planned... We say goodbye for the night, and I'm invited to another show, tomorrow, this time downtown at two bigger venues. Cool, I'll go, I've got nothing better to do.

Downtown

The following night, I park on the street and walk a few blocks past some bars on the way to the first venue. I walk in, and this place actually has young people in it, and isn't nearly as empty as The Haven. I promptly order a beer in the coolest way I can muster. Suddenly two girls chasing each other around the bar fly off the stage area bumping one of their heads on a doorjamb over an archway. She gets up and continues fleeing from the other. It just so happens to be the bar girl from last night being chased by Marissa. The show starts, we enjoy it, and concludes. The band packs up their gear and heads to the next place a few blocks away. We walk there. The next bar is a nice fun looking place too. The show evidently doesn't start for something silly, like 3 hours. As we wait, we're standing by the back door of this second venue and talking. I mention that I walked past a bar on the way there that advertised $1 beer, which, as I recalled, happens to be the bar girl's favorite beer. Marissa suggests I take her there, to pass some time, but that I only buy one round. The sweet close-talking girl looks really interested. Nice. And we're off. We get there, order our drinks, and really hit it off talking. We discuss our families, our youth, travel, everything. We have a great time. The club is packed with people, dancing, and we're peacefully sitting at the bar talking, with colored lights flashing all around. Sssh, I ordered a second round. We eventually realize what time it is and head back to the second venue. We arrive and join up with a larger group of friends at a table in the back. Our group talks for a few hours before and during the first band playing. It's time for Billy's band. The girl that got beers with me, takes my hand and suggests we watch the show from up close, instead of at the table. A few minutes of the show pass and she's standing so close to me that we're touching. Happy. The next thing I know, she spins around to face me, pushes my back up to the bar, and leans up to my ear and says "explain something technical to me", followed by a light bite on my ear. Yeow, this is new! Me being me, with never a lack of esoteric technical processes to discuss, leads with "I'll describe how a cathode ray tube works; you know, a TV picture tube." My description is flawless, very technically accurate, and detailed, stepping through the entire loop circuit, concluding with how phosphors work and why NTSC is 60 herts while PAL is only 50 herts. She is thoroughly dazzled; we immediately start making out. As the night concludes and the friends all break, Marissa realizes that she has to take her boyfriend Billy home, as well as the friend I took out earlier. I instead offer to get her friend home safe. We walk, I sort of cary her, like a Vietnam soldier limping back to base with a war buddy. We get almost to her house and she suggests we stop at her restaurant for some garlic knots; we do. We get some, have more conversations, I meet her coworkers and we head back to her house. I pull up to her door, we kiss again, and she gets out. This girl is Christie.

Vanished

The following week at Nickel Beer, I ask Marissa for Christie's phone number so I can call her. Now, see, normally this wouldn't have been an issue, however Marissa being Marissa, her phone happened to have recently gotten into a fight with the floor and lost, and therefore was not in cooperating condition for number lookups. Fine, not a whole week passed yet, no worries. I try the same question the following week with no luck. She's too busy and stressed out to do me this favor. I don't press it, trying to remain awesome, stoic, and unfazed. The third week I ask, well, demand, that she get me the number and I'm not leaving until she does, and luckily it finally works. I've got the number. Yusss! Over the next day at work I contemplate what the hell I'm going to say. I have to apologize for not contacting her sooner, and simultaneously invite her out to dinner for a proper date, while seeming cool. No small task for me, Mr. Notoriously Uncool. After writing several dozen draft text messages on my laptop, proofing them and rereading them, I carefully T-9 them into my dumb phone and away the message goes. I get an excited reply almost right away dispelling any concerns that I was too late. Invite her out to a nice family owned Italian restaurant I know about (non-chain restaurants are hard to find in Orlando) and we're all set. I'm through the freakin' ceiling with joy.

First Date

I show up at her house, on her doorstep, and her mom Millie answers the door. I say "I'm here to pick up Christie". From the couch her stepdad says "You can keep her", jokingly. Millie explains that Christie will be ready shortly, and as soon as she finishes saying so, Christie appears. Lovely. We hurry out and head to dinner. We are seated at this small restaurant. After picking and ordering our meals, Christie looks noticeably nervous. I'm completely calm and relaxed –unlike how I would normally be. I figure the hard part is out of the way already. We've already kissed so, what's the point of being nervous. I lean across the table, pick up her hand, hold it between mine, look her in the eyes and say "There's no need to be nervous, everyone's nervous on first dates.", and coolly smile. This by the way, was by a wide margin, the coolest thing I've ever said and coolest I've ever been at a critical time, in my life, before and since. Remarkably, it worked, and she immediately relaxed and we had a fantastic rest of the evening. I'll spare you those details.

Life by Christie

Going out on my first date with Blake was the best decision I have ever made. I didn’t know that at the time. In fact, it would take me years to fully realize the truth of that statement. The date was awkward at the start. He wasn’t like the guys I usually dated. He had a stable job, a car, and didn’t live at home with his parents! All this intimidated me. In fact, it was the first REAL date that I had ever been on and I wasn’t sure how to act. We had met a few times before and on the last occasion I had a little too much to drink and had been a bit too forward. I wasn’t sure what he thought of me and I was afraid he had expectations that I couldn’t live up to. I must have been visibly nervous because about halfway through dinner Blake reached across the table and took my hand. He looked me in the eyes and said, “It’s ok, you don’t have to be nervous.” I laughed a nervous laugh, one which Blake has come to love, and relaxed a little.

Over the next few dates we began the process of getting to know each other. Quickly it became apparent that we had a serious connection. We had great conversations about philosophy, religion, politics and life. Blake challenged me on a level I hadn’t experienced in such a long time. I loved our conversations and the chemistry we were cultivating. We spent all our time with each other. I had never felt as safe and as important as Blake made me feel so eventually I just stopped going home altogether.

Travel

A few weeks after moving in together we took a weekend trip to North Carolina. During the long drive I was mesmerized by stories of his childhood. He spoke so lovingly about his family and the trips they went on together. I had no idea how long our relationship would last, but it was on this trip that I remember thinking for the first time that Blake would make a wonderful father to someone’s children some day. I remember feeling reluctant to open up to him about my past. I thought that if Blake knew too much about me I would become less mysterious and therefore less interesting. After an amazing weekend camping in the mountains, surrounded by nature and beautiful scenery, I decided to share my stories with him. On the ride back to Orlando I talked for what must have been hours, pausing here and there to make sure he was still listening and checking his mood. When I had finally finished dictating my biography Blake was far from disinterested. He had so many questions and we spoke at length about many different aspects of ourselves and each other that fascinated us. This began a sort of tradition of ours: road trips and long conversations about anything and everything.

Over the next few years we settled into our lives together. We moved into our own place, free of roommates for the first time in our lives, and really made a home together. We got to know the nuances of each other’s personalities. What our strengths and weaknesses were as a couple and individually. Blake took me to places around the world that I never dreamed of going and I like to think that I brought a vibrancy into his daily life that had been missing before we met. Blake helped me quit smoking and drinking and took me to art museums. I learned how gentle and kind he is and I encouraged him to exercise his silly side. He showed me how intelligent I am and encouraged me to pursue my dreams.

Moving

After being together for 4 years we decided to leave Orlando, the place we had both called home our entire lives. This was a momentous decision because outside of conversations about parenting strategies and life goals we shared, we had made no assumptions about our future together. We were happy as a couple, in love and on the same path, but marriage was not something we were wanting to rush into. Moving away from our families together seemed like a make or break moment for us and we were both scared and excited. We, with the help of our families, packed up our belongings, said our teary goodbyes and set off on our cross-country road trip, destination: California.

When we finally settled in Hayward, California, we weren’t sure what might come next. Luckily the Bay Area proved to be an inviting and accepting place. We quickly made friends at our new jobs and we spent our free time exploring this new place we now call home. The next few years almost seemed like a repeat of the first four years. Living in a new place, free to reinvent ourselves as we saw fit, we got to know each other as well as ourselves all over again. We fell in love with San Francisco and we fell in love with each other, deeper and stronger than ever before.

Future

On January 8th, 2013, I started my first day of classes at the college near our new home. This date was extra important because it is also the day I had quit drinking 2 years before. Blake suggested that we celebrate these important events by having a fancy dinner in San Francisco so we got dressed up and headed out for a night on the town. We arrived at an upscale restaurant in the Castro called Frances. The place was fully booked and, not realizing how necessary they were, we had failed to make reservations. Luckily 2 seats opened up at the bar. We had an amazing meal, chatting happily about the future. As the creme brulee arrived Blake handed me his phone and asked me to read a note he had typed there. In it he professed his love for me and what an impact I have had in his life. As I looked up he pulled a little black box out of his pocket and opened it, blinding me with the shininess that lay inside, and asked “Would you do me the great honor of marrying me?” I started to cry as he placed the ring on my finger.

Since that day we have been on many more adventures, encountered a few obstacles and embraced the changes our relationship has made, waiting for the right time in our lives to devote ourselves to each other. After 8 years we are finally taking this next step and on the 8th day of August, 2016, we will be married in front of our parents and siblings in Grand. While we have both changed dramatically since the day we first met, today and since our first date, the man I know and love is brave and caring. He is honest and kind. He is incredibly funny, charming and romantic. I have no question that he will be an amazing father and role model for our future children. I am honored that he has asked me to be his wife and I am looking forward to showing him every day how loved he is.

Our story is still being written,
and we're glad you get to be a part of it.
- Blake & Christie